swimminginmainstream:

held a door open for a girl today and didn’t even get a blowjob. so tired of getting friend zoned.

(via guy)

jaclcfrost:

faygofuckyourself:

jaclcfrost:

if magic isn’t real then how do you explain

image

It hardens because the chocolate cools on the cold ice cream. Put a bottle in the fridge and wait. It’ll be a hunk of chocolate

no i’m pretty sure it’s magic it even says “magic” on the bottle and it’s got a snazzy turtle in a hat a magician would wear with a magic wand

(Source: jaclcfrost, via departured)

(Source: m0rtality, via cuntinued)

exhistur:

I wonder if anyone ever looks at me while I’m doing something and thinks I’m pretty. Because I do that all the time to people. 

(via guy)

goldicrocs:

tumblr giveaway must be following me

goldicrocs:

tumblr giveaway must be following me

(via departured)

burgrs:

what if flies said “hey” every time they flew by your ear 

(via departured)

glaad:

Today, President Obama signed an executive order that prohibits employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity against federal workers and contractors.

glaad:

Today, President Obama signed an executive order that prohibits employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity against federal workers and contractors.

(via upworthy)

mormondad:

real life high school advice:

  • dont slack 
  • be friends with everyone 
  • kiss ass like there is no tomorrow

(via best-of-tumblr)

bembali:

An actual picture of me in school

bembali:

An actual picture of me in school

(via departured)

derpycats:

sleepy kitty

derpycats:

sleepy kitty

micdotcom:

Weird Al’s glorious viral video streak has come to an end — Here’s the definitive ranking

Yankovic has been on an incredible winning streak this past week. He released a video a day for eight straight days, starting with the song “Tacky,” a parody of Pharrell Williams’ “Happy,” and ending Monday with “Mission Statement,” a brilliant rip on Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young’s “Suite Judy Blue Eyes.” Publications from Slate to the Wall Street Journal to the Atlantic have been scrambling to explain how a man in the fourth decade of his career could suddenly make such a huge splash. 

Career-first he may achieve | Follow micdotcom

100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person

(via departured)

jontronshat:

wentdog:

The ’50s were fucked up man.

*tries this at next house party*

jontronshat:

wentdog:

The ’50s were fucked up man.

*tries this at next house party*

(via departured)